An important social ability is knowing how to keep a conversation going. Some people will find it harder than others, but if you’ve found your way here then I’m assuming you’re struggling with it. It’s one of the more obvious symptoms of shyness. Shrinking into your own head and blushing are obvious ones as well but letting the awkward silence fill a conversation as you panic for things to say is pretty standard. I’m not trying to teach you how to become superhuman here. You don’t have to become a super confident, extroverted social butterfly to make this work. Really, the goal is to just have a very normal, natural, healthy level of social relationships in your life. To be able to express yourself comfortably, confidently and effectively in social situations. To stop feeling, anxious, insecure, nervous and tense around people.
Keeping a conversation going without that dreaded silence is one of the hardest parts in improving your conversation skills. We’re going to look at a few tips here and we have a kickass video for you to watch as well but for the full information check out the guide on how to keep a conversation going from the guys at Over Shyness.
And I truly believe anyone can accomplish this if they choose to work at it. Anyone can reach the very modest goal of feeling okay and adequate with who you are, and feeling like other people will accept you for who you are. This is the very core of what I teach, and I hope you stick around. We’re not trying to change WHO you are or WHAT you think. We just want you to be able to hold a conversation together for longer than a minute. Normally it can be pretty easy to get into a conversation with someone but it’s keeping it going that can be the trick.
Keeping a conversation going is not about learning the right things to say to people or carrying around topic cards. That’s not a conversation, that’s a scripted social encounter. What I want you to learn is how to do this naturally. How you can easily keep a conversation going without really having to worry about it. Once you have “woken up” and decided to fix your shyness or social anxiety, the next step is to figure out exactly what it is. If you’re having trouble speaking to people then you’re having trouble with shyness or your social skills, at least on some level.
It can vary pretty wildly for everyone and there’s no two people going to have the same problem. The most important thing to know is that shyness and social anxiety are both simply two different labels for the same problem. They are the same thing at different levels of seriousness. Social anxiety is the severe form of shyness. Shyness is the “light” form of social anxiety. Not being able to keep a conversation going is simply a symptom of being shy and not being confident. Once you start noticing this and get outside of your head you’ll find it a lot easier to keep talking to people.
So get out and talk to as many people as possible. Talk to friends, strangers and heck even call your mom. Just get talking and pay attention to the other person and yourself to make sure you don’t fall inside your head too much. That’s really the trick to learning how to keep a conversation going. Keep outside of your own head and keep talking to people.